Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Self Reflection: Reconstruction Debate

1) How did I feel during planning this presentation? Why did I feel this way?  It felt like it was a never-ending task.  I could not think of one thing to plan out to right.  I sat there for the hour just reading and thinking.  I needed some walls to rise up and give me a structure to bounce around in.  I wanted some structure, not go work and good luck.  A group member just ended up putting a random task in the storyboard for me to do.  It all just seemed we were doing the exact same thing.  It turned out that way too!  We didn’t exactly work as a group either.  One person would be hiding under a desk, another would be of in a corner, one would be messing around, and the other two tried to work.  It didn’t turn out the way it was supposed to and I’m not surprised.
a)  I felt this way because there was no teamwork involved.  I may not have been there for the outcome of this group, but what I’ve heard it did not go well at all.  I thought and truly felt that it was the true beginning of 2nd semester.  Just as Ms. Bailin described, you will be riding a boat relaxing as you sail as she shoves you over the edge.  Just trying to paddle your way back, and that second she’s gone, sailing away.  You are thrown with a group of people to accomplish your tasks.  If you don’t complete it, you’re doomed to swim forever.  I barely accomplished a thing in class, except a paragraph, a lonely paragraph introduction.  I ended up stressing over the weekend, and being distracted by a game.  Freaked out Monday morning, and had to do it all then, that’s not why I wasn’t there though.
2) How did I feel prior to presenting? Why did I feel this way?
It was the first time I was actually kind of excited and anticipating a     debate/presentation.  You can say I backed down or ditched them, I don’t really care it wasn’t my fault.  The first debate was well written, but that one I might have been a bit of a coward.  One mess up in this class sends you to like a month of being shunned.  I felt this way because I figured it was going to be like last time.  I must have been called a chicken fifteen times that day.
3)    How did I feel while I was presenting? Why did I feel this way?
When my group was presenting I was more or less flipping out, literally.     Between not being there to support them, to having a day of mourning.  It was my Grandpa’s birthday; he’s been passed away for a while.
4)    What did I personally do well?
I really can’t think of one thing I did well, but maybe that’s my lack of confidence kicking in.  I didn’t focus in class, didn’t focus at home, and didn’t really work well together.  If I was here for the debate/presentation probably would of froze in front of the huge crowd.

5)    What did not go as desired in this presentation?
Our content did not go as desired in this presentation.  We had the exact same content. You could tell how horribly it was planned out.
6)    On a scale from 1-10, how well do I think I understood the content? 2
I didn’t even understand what I was typing in my script.  I all really      understood was that there was 10% plan and a 50% plan.  The rest I just grabbed of some websites and pvOnline.  Without the structure I had setup for me, I would be lucky if I had two lines to say.  I just sat there researching and reading over and over again trying to get the idea of what its about.
7)    How do I think my group members perceived me? Why do I think this?
I think they perceived as a slacker on this project.  I got my work done, somehow, but just because I have to pay some respects to a loved one I get dirty looks and become shunned.
8)    How do I think the 8th graders perceived me? Why do I think this?
The 8th graders perceived me as a coward and a chicken because I hadn’t shown up.  A few of them stopped by me just to tell me that.
9)    Knowing that I can only control how I act and react, if I could do this presentation again, what would I change about my actions to make it a more ideal experience?
To make it more ideal I would work harder in class to get more work done so I don’t end up procrastinating over the weekend and completing it that morning.  I might try not to get so distracted.  My parents even ask if I was done with all my homework.  I would of course say yes just to get another 15 minutes to play a game.
10)    What are my strengths in groups?
One of my strength in a group is somewhat of a content producer, if I can find sites to get my information from.  My main group strength is probably the silent ability to just follow the main overview of the plan.  I’ll just get the idea and try to produce something from it.
11)    What areas do I need improvement?
Areas I need improvement is definitely my reliability.  Everyone shows how much they want to work with me, but it might not turn out the way you want it to.  I also need to improve public speaking.  I’m always so excited to do and produce the work, but not exactly provide the work to the class.  I just shake my way up there, shake my way through it, and shake my way back to my seat.  It even seems to happen when I am just going to the front of the room to just hit play on a project.  I probably should improve my self-confidence too.
12)    What is the most important thing I learned about myself? Why is this so important?
The most important thing I learned about myself is you can’t just “sit on some ones shoulders,” and piggyback ride my way through life.  You can’t always rely on the person holding you up.


  1. Bryon, I love your responses. You are so straight forward and write down answers exactly how you think them in your head.

    p.s. You may think you did nothing well in this project, but you did an excellent job reflecting on it. - Keara

  2. I'd like to say this first off: I do not think you are a coward. I promise. I think that you are very brave to be able to think that your classmates would be angry with you for leaving but you did it anyways. There is no problem with paying your respects to a deceased relative. Also, I thought that your group was afraid without you because they didn't have all of their presentation and wanted their group member back. Also, when we (8th graders) talked to you seventh graders, you definitely didn't come across as a slacker or a bad student. On the contrary, I thought you seemed to be one of those kids who quietly got things done. And you know what? Even if I'm wrong, the things you describe up there are easy to fix. All it takes is wanting to be a good kid. And if you're not the greatest public speaker, that's okay. Tons of people are scared to DEATH of speaking in front of a crowd. Start small; practice in front of a best friend, a parent, a sibling. Then a group of friends, then a teacher, and then take on the class. Seriously, I think that if you just show others that you're a great kid, things will work out.

  3. I would like to agree with Keilen, by saying that I do not think your a coward, (or a chicken) in any way, of course you might feel a little (or a lot) down, everyone eventually produces some kind of dud presentation, nothing is wrong with failing every once and a while. The best thing to do in these situations is to reflect on what you did wrong, fix it, and learn from your mistakes. Motivation is key to the production of good quality work, you could be the worst kind of student, all f-'s a bad permanent record, and still produce amazing work. Both of your reflections are very thoughtful, and insightful, you did a great job analyzing your mistakes, yourself, and being open about it, some people can't accomplish that even if they really wanted to. In all honesty, the people who would call a young kid (aren't we all) a coward, (especially if the kids younger than them) are the real cowards, enjoy life, take not to heart insults and shun mean words, chances are their just jealous.

  4. You're not a coward at all, Bryan. Trust me, I know how it feels to be in a chaotic group- it's always hard to focus, and hardly anything gets done. I do agree with Keilen- it was pretty brave of you to leave even though you knew your group would get mad, but paying your respects to your grandfather was definitely a valid reason for leaving.
    I think you have a lot of potential, and I'm excited to see you debate in a group that's more organized. You don't come across as a chicken to me at all, you just weren't in a suitable group.